What I Have Learned… So Far

It has been 11 days since the arrival of our little girl.

Eleven days of happiness, complete confusion, exhaustion, overwhelming emotions… and feeding.

Feeding. It has taken over my life.

This is not something that I was ever told. I was told that breast feeding would be hard. And it is. But not hard because of the task itself, hard because it’s the only thing you do all day long.

This is just one of the things that I have learned. Let me tell you about the rest…

1) As much as everyone has said to sleep when she sleeps, it seems to be the last thing I can do.

As you all may know, I’m a neat freak. Actually, neat freak doesn’t even really describe my anal retentiveness. They should find a NEW name for my disease. I don’t think I can walk into my kitchen without grabbing a sponge and wiping everything down. It’s a sick, sick problem. But atleast I realize this!

What I’m trying to say is that if I slept as much as my daughter (who sleeps basically all the time unless I have to wake her to feed!), I would never accomplish anything!

2) My husband is my life saver.

The man has seen more than he ever thought he’d see, changed more than he ever thought he’d change and hugged more than he ever thought he’d hug. I don’t have enough words to thank him for how supportive and encouraging he he has been since … well, since we found out we were pregnant. But over the last 11 days, he has been absolutely amazing.

There is no way I would have survived the birth of our first child without him by my side. And watching him with Sloane makes me fall in love with him all over again!

3) Crying is my new part-time job.

I have shed more tears over the past 11 days than I have in my entire life! And I had already deemed myself a crier pre-giving birth! So you can imagine how, with the enormous amount of hormones raging through my body, the tears seem to never stop now.

I cry over everything.

Seeing my dog standing at the fence when we got home from the hospital.

Thinking about my family leaving me… when they weren’t leaving for another six days.

Listening to my husband sing, “You’re my pooky bear” to Sloane.

Basically anything and everything. It’s exhausting! It’s annoying! But it’s unstoppable.

4) Living 10 hours away from my family is ALOT harder than I thought it would be.

Matt and I were pretty confident that having a baby while living in Minnesota wouldn’t be an issue. We were sure that we could handle this all on our own.

Well… after 10 days with my family in our home, we came to the conclusion that we were wrong.

They held Sloane, played with her, fed her. They brought lots of laughter to our quiet house and when they all headed back to Kansas on Sunday, Matt, Sloane, Wrigley and I were left with a quiet house and confusion as to what to do with ourselves!

We know that we’ll be able to handle this distance, but we’re not so sure that we want to. We love it here, but know that it won’t be home forever because home is within a two hour driving distance of our families!

5) Our baby is the light of our lives.

It’s crazy to think how much our lives have changed since Oct. 15. This little girl has flipped our world upside down… but in the best way possible! She is precious and looking at her only makes me smile, knowing that Matt and I created something so stinkin’ cute! 🙂

I guarantee that I will have five more things to add to this list within the next 11 days. Such as how to explain to your dog that he has not been replaced and is still loved as much as he was pre-baby.

I’ll get back to you on that one!

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “What I Have Learned… So Far

  1. Aunt Sally

    OMG the memories you have brought back!! The crying, the ALL day nursing, the exhaustion. Every new moms experience. And this to will pass. It is a wonderful time but hard! You will get through it! And thank goodness you have a great husband/dad like I do! What a blessing! Love you! Call if you need to vent!

  2. What a sweet post, Al! Sloane is so lucky to have you as a mom. And she is stinkin’ cute.

  3. Jenna

    Oh, this made me cry. I am incredibly proud of you, and I wish every child could have parents like you and Matt. Sloane will be forever blessed … and that’s without even covering all of her family (blood-related or not!)

    I think about you MANY times a day and send my love north every time. Hopefully you can feel it!

  4. Amanda Connealy

    Allyson- I’ve been thinking of you a lot over the last couple of weeks. Reading your latest post gets me all choked up because I KNOW those feelings of excitement and awe mixed with doubt and fear all topped off with a heathy dose of out of control emotions! I KNOW it seems like forever until you’ll feel rested and normal again, and no matter how many times people tell you that you’ll never be the same person you were pre-baby, you WILL get back to your normal, happy, rested self – sooner than you think =) These first few weeks are harder than they are pleasurable. You just keep doing your best and hang in there! You’re in my prayers! (And after the last 11 days or so, don’t you totally admire those single moms out there?! Thank GOD for helpful husbands!!!)

  5. That post brought tears to my eyes….been there done that… on every single thing.
    I never (and still dont) get to sleep when she does. Because, yes, as a mom/wife you feel like you should be doing 500 other things. Somedays I eventually give up and seriously pass out, lol. And yes, feeding does take over! I knew it would be hard, but even now, it consumes my life. I still plan around when I need to nurse her and where I will be. But I guess it is the best for the little girls. Onto crying…haha, Brian can attest that, yes, I would cry at the smallest thing! And I knew I didnt really want to be crying, but I couldnt keep from doing so! Finally, being away from family really is hard. I’m not as far away as you guys are from yours, but the fact that my mom or Brians mom cant just pop over to help or let me shower is hard sometimes. Plus I wish they could just see Mackenzie whenever they wanted. Thank goodness for Skype! Okay, I’ve typed too much, but I just wanted to say I totally have been there done that and completely understand what you’re going through! Sloane is adorable and I know you’re a great mommy!

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