I had signed Matt and I up for a baby class a few months ago, knowing that we were going to need some instruction on anything and everything baby related once the time got closer for said baby to be here.
Apparently, two months has flown by quickly because we were rolling up to the hospital on Saturday morning at 9:00 am to begin the two-day class!
A few things to note:
- I signed us up for the express class, which zoomed through pregnancy, labor, the birthing and healing process, cesarean section on day one, followed by everything that follows those things in day two. If we were going to take this class, I knew it couldn’t be spread out over seven weeks or Matt would lose focus! I knew we needed to get in and get out with as much information as possible.
- Did I mention to you how time flies by so quickly? After finishing this weekend, I am starting to go into ‘Oh my Gosh, we don’t have ANYTHING ready for this baby’ mode … and she will be here in less than two months.
Our Saturday morning started off well: we each had breakfast, we had remembered to bring our two pillows and blanket we were asked to bring and we had remembered to let Wrigley out of the garage before we left. A successful start!
Things started going downhill when we remembered – as soon as pulled up to the hospital – that you have to pay to park.
Pay to park at the hospital?
This must be some kind of joke!
They are already taking all of your money for spending two lovely days in their facility and pulling your baby out (I’ve spent almost eight months with this baby and I’m not getting paid anything!) but apparently they are REALLY counting on that $9/day you are paying them to park in their facility. That fee probably pays the one lady that sits at the parking desk inside the hospital.
We made our way to the classroom, met the instructor, grabbed a few books she told us to grab and politely told her no when asked if we had brought our notebook.
Notebook? What notebook? I was never given a notebook! I come prepared for everything and can 100 percent verify that I was never sent a notebook.
What a great way to start out!
Luckily, another couple had been sent two notebooks (one of those was probably the one that was to be sent to me) so they graciously allowed us to use their ‘extra’.
Class began and we went through some of the normal topics we thought we’d go through: class introductions to start (we were split up with couples to talk to and our couple happened to be the quietest couple in the room – luckily for me, I hate silence so I talked the entire time!), pregnancy and the changes that occur in women (there are only a few), when to know it might be time to go to the hospital and before we knew it, it was time to pull out the blankets and pillows for the labor techniques portion of the class.
It is probably no surprise to anyone that I will be asking for an epidural as soon as it is allowed, but I knew it was important to know these breathing techniques for the pre-epidural portion of the program.
It is also, I’m sure, no surprise to anyone that my husband and I are not the most serious of people. I was slightly concerned about our attendance in this class only because of our ability to laugh at anything and everything that is suppose to be serious and not laughed at.
Cue breathing techniques.
As the teacher is showing us the proper way to breathe (“Close your eyes, big inhale and a slow exhale – blow the air out through your mouth.”), the room is quiet and I’m trying to concentrate and pretend that this is a real situation, I hear a snicker to my right.
I immediately pinch Matt’s leg in hopes that he would know that he was embarrassing me and to be quiet.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “But it sounds like Darth Vader!”
And even though all I could think was, “Don’t laugh at him! Don’t laugh at him!”, the only thing that would come out was a laughing snort… because come on… THAT is funny!
Eventually it came time for a lunch break in which everyone crowded into the cafeteria. You had your choice of a salad bar, a sandwich bar, pizza, chicken fingers, pasta, cheeseburgers, french fries, ice cream… it was a smorgasbord of Allyson’s favorite foods!
We zipped through our lunch and headed back to the classroom for the afternoon portion of the class which included the videos of actual labor and birth, pain medications (which I paid extra special attention to!), c-sections, followed by a tour of the maternity unit to end the day.
We successfully made it through all of day one without gagging, vomiting, passing out or absolutely freaking out and saying, “Nope, sorry – no baby for us!”
Though the entire process seems terrifying to me still, I keep reminding me myself how many women have done this before me and have come out alive and happy and with a beautiful baby to show for it!
Now… if only I knew what to do with the kid AFTER the hospital…
Day 2 to follow…