Baby, It’s Cold Outside …. and I’m Not Moving!

Because of the recent frozen tundra wave that has swept through south central Kansas, I have had to rethink my decision on letting Wrigley and Roberto into the house at night.

I have NEVER been a fan of dogs in the home. For many reasons, but the two most important being that they smell and they shed. That is for dogs in general. There are a few more even more important reasons to not have dogs in the house when it comes to Wrigley and Robert.

1) Wrigley sprints into the house like a greyhound in his first race, while Bob prances in, a smile spread across his face because he has finally accomplished his goal of wearing down his Master (by way of constant whining and barking and paw scratches against the garage door) to let him inside.

2) Once they are inside and have made their sprints around the dining room, through the living room and kitchen, down the basement stairs (only to immediately come right back up the stairs) and up the stairs to the bedrooms (only to find all doors closed – no toilet water from the bathroom or pair of socks from our bedroom for them to snack on tonight), they seem to think that it is play time so they jump on each other until I yell and give them my stern look,  “What did I just say? Do you want to go back outside to the -5 degree weather?”

3) They stop for 30 seconds before they are right back at the sprints around the house and up the stairs … and if you wait long enough, Bob starts to get frustrated because he can’t keep up with Wrigley and will start his demon dog bark, which REALLY makes me livid… livid enough to make me get up from my comfy spot on the couch to grab him by the collar and tell him to knock it off.

So you can see why I have issues with letting these two specific dogs in the house. I didn’t even mention the chocolate fiasco (it has to do with a Christmas stocking I received at Jenna’s aunts house that was filled with yummy chocolates that the dogs found on the counter and demolished … they left me with wrappers and smushed chocolate in the carpet – I’ll be sending the bill to my brother).

But when it is so cold that going out to close the door between the garage and the outside is mind-numbing, that is when it is time to bring the doggies in.

My plan was simple: use the spare bedroom that has only a bed and a table in it as their room. Remove anything that they could touch or somehow, in any possible way, destroy to another room – so out went the pillows, comforter, quilt, ironing board and iron, and a miniature teddy bear that had been sitting on the table (I learned a long time ago to never trust these two with stuffed animals). I put a really old sheet on the bed and covered up the table so I had all my bases covered. There was nothing in that room that they could destroy. They could only sleep.

The first night went well … after letting them run out of steam (literally – in circles around the house), at 10:30 pm, it was bed time. I opened up the bedroom door, tapped the bed to show them it was OK to jump up on it, which Wrigley immediately did. Bob kind of stared at me. I realized later that his staring meant, “I’m not even two feet tall lady – how do you think I’m going to be able to jump up there?”

Somehow he finally figured it out and now, this is what I have to deal with in the mornings, when it’s time to get up and go back outside…

Wrigley immediately jumps up because he is ready to go…

But Robert has other thoughts. He knows where he will be heading once he gets up and he doesn’t want to deal with it. He is saying no.

“Come on Bob!”

“Let’s go Bob!”

“Time to go outside, Bob!”

“BOB!”

“ROBERT!”

No response.

He seriously is not moving.

So downstairs I go with Wrigley to let him outside and finally … after a few minutes … and probably after realizing he was probably missing out on something fun (or he heard the word ‘treat’ … I may have mistakenly yelled that to get him downstairs), you hear Bob jump off the bed and make his way down the stairs and before he can think twice, out the door he went.

And before I can feel the freezing cold morning air hit my face, I close the door and run back upstairs.

That’s the difference between humans and dogs. I would never trust someone that got me out of my warm bed by lying to me about food and then threw me outside into the cold.

But not dogs. And not Wrigley and Bob. They know that if they wait outside long enough, they will be back inside, running sprints, stealing chocolate and sleeping on a full-size bed before the night’s end.

Did I mention that I’m not a fan of dogs being inside?

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside …. and I’m Not Moving!

  1. Jenna

    Like father, like son? (I’m certain Jordan has looked like that on more than a few mornings/afternoons in his life … )
    Your dog is huge!
    And sorry about the stocking: bummer, those chocolates were good! 🙂

  2. Pingback: Who Let the Dogs In? « The Life of Al

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